Some months ago as I was having a look on okc I came across Baby Alexander he was the sweetest boy I had ever spoken with, it struck me how I felt like I wanted to protect him, hold him and I remember thinking seriously about it as if this could perhaps be something I could embrace. Whether I had it in me to be responsible for an adult baby. How it would work in terms of setting boundaries and expected behaviors.
Baby Alexander wanted to be a 3 to 4 years old, still not potty trained, eating baby food and have his food cut up in small pieces. He wanted to be read a story before going to bed, told to go wash his teeth. He wanted to be dependent and let mummy make all the decisions. He wanted mummy to check his diaper when out in public and treat him like a boy at all times.
I can’t pretend that I understood it especially when he first told me. I couldn’t understand why a grown man would want to be treated as a toddler. When I asked him he explained that for him this was the want for the ultimate level of love, a mum’s love. I thought it was beautiful. My heart swelled with love for this adult child I had never met. I felt that I wanted to hold him close, to show him how much he was cherished and loved and cared for. To fill his heart with affection and love. To tuck him in and kiss him good night.
It was unexpected and shocking that I was really thinking about this beyond the hypothetical. Whilst many might perhaps find this unacceptable I thought about how the relationship would work, whether I was really able to deal with an adult toddler that isn’t yet toilet trained. The emotional responsibility I could deal with but the physical care side would be a much harder barrier to overcome.
Sex was also a tricky subject because I was attracted to this man. He told me that as a mummy I would have to decide. I knew nothing then about dom/sub relationships my experience with relationships was to let my partner make pivotal decisions to drive the relationship but I would make the more mundane decisions. This is not to say that previous relationships had been ideal but it was what I was used to. To hear that he wanted me to decide wasn’t easy, I was somehow caught off guard and also a little rejected because I felt that by leaving the decision to me he wasn’t showing any desire in me as a woman beyond my role as a care giver/mummy.
Sex for me isn’t just a physical relief but a validation that my partner loves me, accepts me for who I am, enjoys spending intimate time with me, makes me feel wanted and desired.
The chat sessions never really developed into anything further but he had awaken in me an awareness and curiosity in a subject that I had never experienced before.