Soooo… I have a date on Friday with a guy I don’t really know so well yet, I’m still unsure about him because I feel that I don’t have enough information to make any decisions (and I’m awfully slow at making them I’m afraid). This will be the second time I meet with him, the first time was a quick drink because I had to catch a flight the day after so it was kind of a rushed one, I was tired as well so not really at my best. Anyway apparently I made an impression and the guy wants to cook for me – probably the quickest way to my heart haha even though I’m not a big eater.
I’m feeling a little anxious because I may have to tell him about this relationship if he asks me if I’m seeing anyone. At the same time I don’t want to lead him on, I can’t lie…so this leave me only with the truth. Of course he might think I’m totally disgusting 😦 that would upset me quite a bit but then I wouldn’t want to date someone who didn’t like me for who I am. I realise as I write this that it is fear of rejection and at the same time this would the first time since I’ve been single to have to explain to someone that I have feelings for someone else and in then in the same sentence say that it’s still ok for me to date others.
Unfortunately I didn’t manage to sum up enough courage to tell him. When I tried to broach the subject he brushed it off and I didn’t pursue it. I’ll have to do it next time. Even more so now that I’m feeling terrible for chickening out and feeling like a fraud.