real life experience

polyamory… a discussion between friends

My friends organised a lunch for my visit home, as I hadn’t been feeling too good about my trip I was initially reluctant but I woke up today looking forward to it and in good spirits. Every time I return they want to hear all about the latest updates in my love life and any other colorful stories I may have of my travels.

I decided the group seemed in a good enough mindset to have a little discussion on polyamory, not that I’m an expert to be honest but I wanted to see how they reacted when told in a group rather than individually.

Most people in the group are monogamous couples, as I describe my experience some are shocked but surprisingly most are entertained. As I tell them that I am honest to the people I date about my other relationships one single guy surprising recoils in horror and says…. This only works for you because you’re a woman. If it was me than women would call me disgusting, <insert long list of insults here> etc. etc.

In my opinion this doesn’t quite follow a logic but anyway the general consensus in the group is that I could only be doing this because I was living in a much more liberal country. I don’t think that this is really correct. In fact I had been on tinder a few days testing this theory. Most are curious to know more. I think that being upfront with people gives them a good standing of where they are and whether they want to entertain this idea or not. In any case I can see that this sort of testing is appealing to my curious nature. I also realise I’m putting myself at risk of gaining a reputation here by pushing it. Just to clarify here that gaining a reputation as someone that should be avoided – in such as small country it could present in real problems including finding it more difficult to find employment, being taken seriously in anything and also having relationships.

I’d already crossed the line by bringing it up for discussion in a fairly large group. This tiny rock in the med is small and they love gossip more than anything else. It is too much for some and they chosen reaction is ridicule. I’ve seen it before, we ridicule what we fear or what we don’t understand. I don’t take it personally after all I knew there would be some consequences for bringing it up.

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