I lay in bed in pain, I feel helpless and all I can do is try to sleep to reset the day. It is more self imposed guilt than anything else. When daddy’s hurt I want to be there for him, but being so far I feel unable to do this effectively. My old friend insecurity screams at me that I’m not a good enough girlfriend, little more than a useless wimp, only good enough to be taken care of and not good enough to care. Shut up! I hide under the covers and wait to fall asleep. It hurts and I miss him then more than ever. It is a part of the relationship I still have to get used to. I lick my wounds knowing that there are others there for him just like the people I love are here for me if he’s away. He is well looked after and I love them for loving him. I know I needn’t feel guilty and he knows that I’m here for him if he needs to talk.
p.s. As I leave daddy a message in the morning I know that I am good enough, I only needed a little reassurance.