real life experience

ecstatic!

Ok so I’m in Malta, that in itself is nothing to be excited about, as usual my visit home is stressful and I have to deal with conservative fearful parents and full days of work and a social life overly packed. To make things slightly worse I caught a cold from a tosser on the plane who was sneezing over everyone. Cut a long story short. My bestie came to help me move stuff and by some fantastic stroke of luck L was also free so we agreed that he’d pick me up from work and he’d also help out and then we’ll go for dinner. Perfect 😀

I’d hosted L when he first arrived in Malta and he was having issues finding somewhere to rent out, we’d met on tinder and I was obviously smitten from the second I laid my eyes on him. And that hair, wow.

At that time (nearly a couple of years now) I’d been shy and barely out of my long term relationship I had no idea how to go about telling him that I liked him. When he realised what was going on he told me he had a girlfriend in Italy and so I backed off and we got on as we were. After I left Malta to go to Spain we’d kept in touch occasionally and tried to go out for dinner with other friends when I was visiting.

Fast forward to now. We get home and while packing away my lingerie he suddenly announces his girlfriend had dumped him because he’s never in Italy. My mouth said “I’m sorry to hear that” whilst I realise that my eyes must have lit up lol. My friend winked at me with a big smile. Oh god. Every time I meet him I feel totally smitten and can barely bring myself to kiss him goodbye because I feel like I might be too obvious. Did he just tell me that he has no girlfriend so let me know he’s free or what?

I tried to ignore the new information trying to find out from his behaviour if he’d be receptive to my advances. I can’t tell for shit. He seems the same as usual. We talk about dating in Malta, the different personalities he’d been meeting on tinder dates. I have no idea what it all means, maybe nothing. I ask him what he wants, he says he doesn’t know. That’s a good starting point. At least he hasn’t ruled anything out.

He asks about my relationships, ah now maybe he is interested then. We talk about polyamory, he’s a little conservative, I know at this point this is no new relationship potential, this is all too new to him. I was impressed though that he hadn’t wanted to cheat on the girlfriend, that was good. The mating dance is awkward but I’m so drawn to him.

We go for dinner and sit across each other, we share food and have a great evening chatting about anything and everything. I still don’t know if he likes me in that way.

I go home beating myself up, I should have said something. The day after is another hard day at work but he is texting me wanting to know how it’s going. Good signs or is he being friendly? On the bus back I pluck up the courage and send him a text. Being a total dork about it, roughly translated to I like you and since you’re single now I was wondering it you wanted to spend some time together. No pressure and you can say no and everything would be fine we’d still be friends just like we are now.

He laughs… apparently I’m more obvious than I thought lol he says he could tell for some time *facepalm*. He says he likes my company. Oh god what does that mean? Is he about to say no?

He seems to be thinking about it and then says he thinks there would be fun to be had. I have not idea what that means… is that a yes???

Then I say think about it and then maybe let me know, at this point frankly I’m about to have a heart attack on the bus haha. Then lo and behold he says, for me it’s ok. In my head fireworks go off and I’m doing the happy dance. What?! He said Yes 😀 and I had the courage to ask. I mean wow. How far I had come, I was primed for him to say no and that really would have been fine and instead he said yes and I was in that moment the definition of ecstatic. *twirl* *jump* twirl*

We go on the date tomorrow. I’m super excited and anxious all rolled into one. I have nothing to wear and my hair looks a mess but I expect I will have gotten a grip by tomorrow. After all we have shared the room while he was staying here so he’s already seen me at my worse haha. He’s already seen all my knickers and we like each other so even if there’s no chemistry I’m confident we’ll have a great evening. He knows about Daddy and M and my funny adventures. I also leave to see Daddy on Wednesday so this is really a rare opportunity to date one of the ones that got away, he may not be single anymore by the time I’m back, all I can think about is melting in his arms. I might just die if he kisses me. I’m ahead of myself already….

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One thought on “ecstatic!

  1. Good luck! 🙂 From the way he acted in your telling of the story it sounds like he’s also been interested the whole time. I mean clearly you all met on tinder so he’s physical attracted back or else you never would have even matched. Don’t sweat it –you fuckin got this!

    Liked by 1 person

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